Happiness is one of the most commonly used words. We all say the children look so happy. I am very happy today. You don t look happy. Any reason? How to make a happy world? How to avoid sad feelings and feel happy? Which pill can help us? The discussion about happiness is endless. Does science give a common definition of happiness? General answers are available that say that happiness is a state when one feels good, elated, contented, good etc. Is happiness a life long gift or an emotion experienced for a short time.
If I win a lottery, I become happy. As I spend all the money, I become unhappy again. When you call me a good person, I feel happy and when you curse me, I feel very unhappy. If I look at the dead body of my old friend, I feel unhappy and when I look at laughing faces of children I feel happy. We have no control. Outside forces and events control our emotions. We are all toys. That has no free will. This is difficult to believe but true.
Let us find out what is not happiness. Low self esteem, feelings of despondency, sadness, guilt, helplessness, frustration, low interest, uncertainty, and all such negative emotions are not happy emotions. They rather make us unhappy. Now let us talk of what is happiness? Feeling good, cheerful outlook, positive thoughts, winning attitudes, satisfied living, enjoyment, and all such emotions that make us feel good are happy feelings
Is happiness same for all of us? If I give a certain amount to few people, some may become very happy and some may become angry and some will not care either way. Am I making myself clear? So happiness is not something that we feel in equal measure. I may be very happy when I watch the star lit night, but you may enjoy only the bright sunshine. So each one of us has his/her own happiness.
Some of us are happy when we get a large amount of money, some when they can do lot of creative work, some when they can make others feel good and so on. All of us have our unique set of values and desires. We ourselves many times do not know about them. It become difficult therefore to know how to keep others happy and this ignorance causes most of inter personal problems. But these differences in our emotional reactions make us human beings; otherwise we are no different than animals.
Surprisingly, many of us wish to be happy and feel like we don t know what it feels like. We may have been struggling with depression for a long time. We think we will be happy when we find perfect love, or don t have to worry about money, or don t have problems with our family, or if we can only be a success.
These things can help happiness but they aren t really what makes happiness. You could have a great love, money, success, and a loving family and still be depressed. Happiness happens in the in between spaces. It happens in moments when we relax and appreciate the little things. When we are able to find happiness within ourselves and the little moments of the day, it actually makes it much easier to find love, have better relationships, be more successful in our career, and many other things. Please read further in part two of this article series.
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